A new government report says that the net worth of American households jumped $2 trillion over the last quarter to $48.53 trillion. That means that if Ross had his way, every single person in the US would have $150,000 and then the economy would immediately collapse.
on
| § 1
Last night, I saw President Bush on the toob calling for drilling in ANWR. For all those who are opposed to this heinous despoilation of mother Gaia, some perspective:
The Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge is an area the size of South Carolina. The proposed drilling area is about 2000 acres, about the size of a major metropolitan airport like, say, Dulles.
It isn't going to ruin the nature. And when Iran flips out and starts sinking oil tankers going through the straits of Hormuz, having that supply of oil might be a good thing.
on
| § 3
Cat shoots owner. If the cat had been a better shot, no doubt its intention was to eat the owner after shooting him.
on
| § 1
Not that anybody but Minister GeekLethal, NDR, and brdgt know this guy, but congratulations to my good friend and freshly minted Ph.D., Christoph, who will start next year as Assistant Professor of History in the University of Massachusetts system. He has worked harder than I ever intend to, and heavens! It's paid off!
on
| § 2
Sure it's great that we have International Womyn's Day; certainly it's amusing that in its frenzied attempt to be PC, IKEA has twisted its panties all in a bunch. But here is one for the guys: International Steak and BJ Day. The name says it all.
on
| § 0
Yesterday was apparently International Women's Day. Oops. If missing my own wife's anniversary or birthday is bad, then missing International Women's Day is, like... a billion times worse or something.
In recognition of the women of the world, I reproduce here Sojourner Truth's famous "Ain't I A Woman" speech given at the Woman's Convention in Akron, Ohio in 1851. (By the way, Ohio was the first state to see a Constitutional challenge to the disenfranchisement of women in, I believe, 1852. Even though it didn't work out for the ladies, this is proof that not all Ohioans have been dumb.)
Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?
Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?
Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.
If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.
Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say.
Isn't that the shit?
on
| § 3
In the great game of Rock-Paper-Scissors that is entitlement politics, we seem to have reached an impasse. IKEA, the Swedish purveyor of cheap and stylish furniture, is in hot water with the Norse government for including only men in the illustrations that accompany the assembly instructions for their products. That's right. The Norskies, having solved all its problems, are now attacking the pernicious threat of gender bias in instruction manuals written by a company headquartered elsewhere.
But wait! It gets better. IKEA insists it cannot change its manuals, as the company made the decision to include only men in the pictures in order to avoid offending Muslims.
In light of my recent posts on the use of the N-word in Twain and the filthiest joke ever told, I'm starting to get a little fed up. Are we all to become mental Jainists, always contorting ourselves for the sake of right conduct so we do not kill a mosquito, harm a fly, or accidentally repress a minority? Are words and pictures - pedestrian words and pictures - really so terribly hurtful that we can't get along with cartoon pictures of men putting together maddeningly complicated pressboard furniture?
Or can the whole world just have a goddamn pizza and a six pack (a vegan pizza for the Jainists among us!!) and get the hell over it?
Thanks to Ed at Captain's Quarters.
on
| § 0
Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
Can you believe that I'd never read this one? It's amazing! Even though it's not much of a "novel," in the sense that novels have plots/beginnings/endings/heroes/villains, and more of a picaresque road novel a la Don Quixote without any higher purposes, I'm still tempted to go ahead and dub The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn the Great American Novel. Half the pleasure of a good novel is in the language. This is one reason I don't often care for books in translation. Removing Murakami's prose from Japanese, or even Chaucer's from Middle English, bleeds away the specific pleasures of pun, inflection, word choice. Although a very skilled translator can overcome these limitations and even retain the flavor, the "-ness," of an author's particular style and native tongue, good translators are as common as honest politicians. Twain's ear for dialect serves him well, as does his ability to combine screwball comedy with wry satire without apparent effort. In a way this is a very post-modern book (there's that goddamn word again) in that there are no white-hat heroes or black-hat villains, just people. Although Huck is good-hearted enough, he does fake his own death and then watches in wonderment as his friends and guardians grieve and search for his corpse. He also vacillates between hiding Jim (not his whole name) and deciding that a runaway slave is a thief whenever Jim is captured. Although the Duke and the King are bad men, their evil, such as it is, stems solely from greed and aspires to nothing more than being lazy and spending other people's money.
And then there's that word. You know: the big "N" word. Writing in an era when slavery was gone but casual racism was the American way, Twain's treatment of race and racism in the book in all its glory and splendor is important to keep around. In this PC day where you can get in trouble even for saying "niggardly," it's helpful to recall that there was a time when things were worse. It is also helpful to recall that even when things were worse, people were people and slavery was not a monolithic institution. It's hard to read Twain today without the uncomfortable experience of ubconsciously cringing every time The Word comes up (and I definitely had a hard time reading the book on the subway. You never know when somebody might glance over and take exception.), but flinching is our modern reaction to a bygone way of life.
But that's probably overthinking things. Twain was certainly a social critic and a satirist, but at the end of the day Huck Finn is just a stupid Missouri boy who ran away from home and got his ass in trouble. Good story. Next!
[wik] The whole "N" word thing reminds me of a bit I heard on Howard Stern a few years ago. He was running a "roast" contest in which listeners would send in their best roast of Howard or one of his crew members. The winner won something stupid and expensive. A fairly large segment of the submissions that passed the first screening were roasts of Robin Quivers, who as we all know, is black. Every single one of those indulged in crass and graceless material like riffs on watermelons, etcetera. It was painfully unfunny. But the strangest one of all - and one that Howard & Co. played repeatedly as a comedic treasure - was a guy whose roast of Robin consisted in sum total of the following: "N**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger n**ger!"
Is that funny? If so, on what level? 'Cos I don't get it. Discuss.
on
| § 2
