Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

Snake Plisskin in . . . Escape from Baghdad.

In a world gone mad, one man gets even! Snake Plisskin must survive one deadly night in Baghdad, and then... survive getting out of town!

What, you say? The US is cutting back the number of troops in Baghdad, withdrawing to a Cordon Sanitaire around the city and leaving the policing to the Iraqis, is what I say!

On question. Do Iraqi policemen count as casualties of war?

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 0

Early Exit Poll Results

The National Review has posted early exit poll results in five of the seven primary elections happening today:

According to sources, the early exit polls in most of the states are in, and they look like:

AZ Kerry 46, Clark 24, Dean 13.
MO Kerry 52, Edwards 23, Dean 10
SC Edwards 44, Kerry 30, Sharpton 10
OK Edwards 31, Kerry 29, Clark 28
DE Kerry 47, Dean 14, Lieberman 11, Edwards 11

Edwards lead in SC is bigger than I had thought it would be - and I'm surprised that he's in the lead in Oklahoma. If Clark doesn't win there, he's toast. Still, that's a very close race with hours of voting still left. Dean doesn't appear to be making the 15% cut off to get delegates in states where they divide them up. That bodes ill for his campaign. Kerry is scoring big in the two biggest states, Arizona and Missouri.

This feels like the last World Series. I want them all to lose.

[wik] Lieberman and Clark might be preparing to bail.

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 1

On indulgence

You know what really frosts my muffins? The use of the vocabulary of [ed: moral] transgression in reference to food, especially conjugations of "to indulge." Food is just food, and like most other things its consumption is value-neutral even as its advertising pretends otherwise.

For example, chocoholic.com urges us to "indulge that chocolate passion." Not only do they resort to right/wrong comparisons (where being wrong feels oh, so good!!), but the whole "-holic" thing is just a silly cliche that trivializes addiction while allowing people with poor willpower to claim that they have no self-control when it comes to chocolate.

Or check out Guiltless Gourmet. I enjoy their snacks very much, but I don't see what is so "Sinfully Delicious" about them. As an agnostic who believes in living ethically in the absence of an absolute moral compass, I don't even have a clear idea of what "sinfully delicious" might be. Will Jesus weep if I eat the cookie? Will orphans suffer? Will my immortal soul step closer to perishing in the withering fires of Hell with every bite of salsa (naturally low-fat!)? I haven't heard this much talk about denying the pleasures of the flesh since Jonathan Winthrop. Does Weight Watchers send its members a hair shirt and a scourge for the days when they eat a second helping of lasagna?

"Indulge in our new low-fat yogurt." "Go ahead... be bad." "Guiltless Gourmet." "Try our sinfully decadent low-fat chocolate cake." What does all this mean, anyway? What's a guilty gourmet? And what is so decadent and sinful about cake? Will your pasty-textured, chemically-flavored, wooden, cake-shaped food item be served to you on the backs of two human sex slaves buggering each other with the corpses of endangered birds flown by FedEx from a remote Tropical cloud forest? Is that sinfully decadent, or am I missing the point entirely?

Julia Child always said that she'd rather have a tiny slice of something real than a giant slice of a pretender, and I am 100% with her. Life's too short to compromise-- like Warren Zevon said: "enjoy every sandwich." If actually enjoying your food is important to you (like it is to me!), why putz around with eating half a tray of ostensibly "guiltless" and demonstrably average nonfat brownies (total Kcal intake: 1200)-- it's ok, they're low-fat!-- when you can have one goddamn great brownie (total Kcal intake: more like 200) and then go for a walk?

And what the hell is it with every vegetable in the supermarket being labelled "Low fat!" "Zero Cholesterol." I know it's fat-free... it's a zucchini.

End transmission.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 2

Walmart: Masters of Major Perfidy

I've blogged before about what scumbags Wal-Mart can be, but these allegations, if true, take the cake.

Remember the illegal immigrants that Wal-Mart was subcontracting to clean its stores? Well, it seems that Wal-Mart was locking them in the building until the end of their shift.

Wal-Mart of course says both that the allegations are "absolutely incorrect" but also "that doors were kept locked, but insisted that a manager with a key was always present." Someone should notify Wal-Mart that issuing two contradictory statements is commonly known as 'lying ineptly'.

The article linked above also clarifies the details of the lawsuit brought by the illegal immigrants back in November: "the original suit claimed some workers were forced to work seven-day, 70-hour weeks, for $1,500 a month." Although back in November I wondered how illegal immigrants could possibly sue anyone, now I say more power to 'em. Their suit still doesn't have much merit, the plaintiffs being illegal aliens and all, but 70 hours for $300 and change is tantamount to wage slavery-- strike that-- wage pecuiliar institution-ry.

I mean, Christ. Locked doors and corporate hijinks... shades of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire. This kind of insanity is exactly what the American labor movement was founded to combat-- too bad they're too busy off defending entitlements and whacking opponents to notice that they're losing ground where it matters.

I'm not kidding-- Wal-Mart employees need to unionize now, or the local management will keep taking advantage of the economically marginal status of many workers. I mean, I'm no true-blue (Red?) Marxist by a loooong shot, but this crap went out of style with handlebar mustaches, giant-wheel bicycles, and buggy whips.

[wik] Ezra at Pandagon asks, "Is Wal-Mart Good For Us?" exploring the ins and outs of wage arbitrage and the actual effects of Wal-Mart's pricing strategies on its suppliers and customers. Since this is weblogs and not movies, I'll give away the ending: not good.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 0

More Mars News

The Paratrooper of Love gives us this lovely story from the Borowitz Report:

The French space program took a significant step backward today as the European Space Agency announced that a much-heralded French Mars probe surrendered just moments after landing on the red planet.

The probe, which had been expected to travel extensively across the surface of Mars to collect and analyze rock samples, stunned the French nation by surrendering only eight seconds into its mission.

As millions of astonished Frenchmen watched on national TV, the probe extended a robotic arm -- designed to scoop up rocks from the surface of Mars – and raised a white flag aloft, waving it back and forth.

The probe then used a robotic shovel to dig a hole in the Martian surface before disappearing into the hole, apparently hiding.

At a press conference in Paris, French President Jacques Chirac denied that the probe had surrendered, arguing, “This mission was always intended to be eight seconds long. The probe has performed courageously and superbly.”

Despite earlier announced plans for the French Mars probe to exchange information about the surface of Mars with the American Mars probes, Mr. Chirac said, “The Americans will have to go it alone.”

Posted by Buckethead Buckethead on   |   § 0

Berman out at Trek

Please permit me to don my fanboy beanie and Spock ears and announce the imminent departure of hack and subhuman dirtbag Rick Berman from the helm of the Star Trek franchise.

A Perfectly Cromulent Blog embiggens our minds with much, much more on this topic.

The best thing for Trek would be a total shake-up-- I agree with Perfectly Cromulent on this one. I dig Enterprise ok, when my wife lets me watch it, but it suffers from the Berman disease. What they need is for Joss Whedon to come on and start writing for them, and inject some Firefly-esque humor, raggedness, and heart into the series. Then a ten-year moratorium. Then a totally fresh start, with a new writing and producing team. The Trek Universe is still not completely fleshed out: there's a lot that could be done, but only if formula and hackishness are dispensed with. If I see one more ion capacitor flux polarity reversal, I'm going to explode.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 12

Tectonic Politics

Calpundit reads a David Frum column so as to conclude that the presumed rightward drift of the US's political landscape is largely an illusion.

Huh. Interesting take on things. I think I agree with Frum and Drum (rhyming pundits:w00t!) that the bedrock principles of liberalism-- that is, public schooling and all that jazz-- are pretty deeply ingrained in the American way of thinking. But that doesn't mean that Conservatism isn't insurgent. It's kind of like a bastardized version of geology. Liberalism is like tectonic plates, see, and conservatism is volcanoes. Sure, at the moment the bedrock is liberal, but in a million years or so liberalism will have been drawn back down into the mantle and Conservative values will be bedrock. And so on and so on.

I apologize. That was the single most tortured and inapt analogy I have ever committed to type, and that's saying a lot.

But what more can I do? I was educated in a poorly-funded public school.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 0

Bizarre Metallic Pasties and Inadvertantcy

If Janet Jackson's boob-shot at the Stupor Bowl was, as Justin Timberlake insists, a "wardrobe malfunction," I ask you: why did Janet think to wear a strange sol-shaped metallic pastie/nipple ring/clamp device visible from half a mile away?

I think it's cute that MTV still thinks boobies are funny, and even cuter that the NFL finds them outrageous.

[wik] More boobie, much more boobie, at co-perfidions blogcritics, your clearinghouse for football/boobie synergy.

[alsø wik] For those of you who watched the Stupor Bowl on Sunday: did you like the "Rocket Sled" commercial, you know, the one where the guy is giving his girl a sleighride and they have an open flame and the horse farts? I personally hated it. There are standards for fart jokes-- matters of timing, taste, syntax-- and this particular 'mercial missed on all of them. I'm sitting here giggling at the punchline now "wow... they have a rocket sled!" but I found the ad itself totally unfunny at the time.

Now, the Teutel family jumping a bunch of dump trucks... that's comedy gold.

[alsø alsø wik] I'm told there was some sort of sporting event on Sunday as well that I would probably remember were it not for my five-martini dinner.

[wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?] My congratulations to the New England Patriots for a great game and a second win. Only in Boston do people die during victory celebrations. We also eat our dead up here. With beans. (Check out the link... the columnist even takes a swipe at Detroit.)

Congratulations also to the Carolina Panthers, a class act, a great team, and co-architects of one of the most exciting Stupor Bowls, indeed one of the most exciting games, I have ever seen.

[see the løveli lakes...] Kudos also to Aerosmith. As it turns out, they're giant space buffs, and it was partly their doing that there was such a tribute to NASA, space exploration, and the astronauts of the Columbia before the game. They are the greatest band in the world, or at least used to be.

Posted by Johno Johno on   |   § 3

When You Assume...

I guess I'll just keep trying. More comments have shown up on Winds of Change; the thread's disappeared into the past, so I think I'll just respond here.

Paul Stinchfield:

You say the phrase "elimination of the other" didn't come out of a book, but "just came out that way." Well, I never said it came out of a book. After all, leftists not only write that way, they also talk that way, and that particular rhetorical trope has been around long enough to thoroughly pervade the discourse of the left from professors of "cultural studies" to, I suppose, people who just like "Rage Against the Machine." And that phrase means genocide. Genocide motivated by racism, intolerance, bigotry and paranoia. That's what it means now, and that's what it meant when it was coined. However you picked it up, you surely knew its meaning and nonetheless used it to mischaracterize Trent's opinions. You cannot use such language and then credibly claim lack of responsibility for such libel. I gave you an opportunity to apologize and repudiate your inexcusable language, but you instead chose to weasel out.

Whatever. I'm 36 years old. I've spent pretty much every one of my adult years either building software companies or reading technical material that supported the building of software companies. Recently I've taken an interest in politics, and I take roughly the same approach. Unlike you, I have not had time to take classes, go to marches, attend seminars, subscribe to journals, and correspond. So when I tell you I haven't heard the phrase before, believe it. When I tell you I just wrote it that way, believe it. If you want to continue to make things up and accuse me of them, be my guest.

If I intend to say that Trent is pro-genocide, I'll just say it, exactly like that.

I simply observe the following: People will generally tell each other what they all want to hear. You see it on the left, and you see it on the right. The comfort level at Winds of Change is pretty high for hardliners on the right. You get to say what you like, there's plenty of comfortable agreement to go around. Sorry for disrupting the mutual back-slapping.

Trent writes:

Why should *ANYONE* take you seriously?

From the top:

1) Chemicals are not a threat to prepared troops in the field or emergency responders in hazmat moon suits. Unprepared civilians and emergency first responders are as vulnerable as the Kurds were to Saddam's genocidal gas attacks.

There have been a number of terrorist attack plans broken up in Europe that involved Muslim terrorist using lethal chemicals in enclosed spaces like the European parliment.

2) Libya's "turning states evidence" -- after we caught them red handed with the goods -- showed we have a world wide illict nuclear weapons component bazaar. One that would never have come to light without both 9/11/2001 and the war in Iraq.

3) As for biological weapons being "theoretical," tell that to Washington D.C. postal workers and the mail staffers at the networks and Senator Daschle's office.

Or in the first case, the relatives of dead postal workers.

The anthrax that hit Daschle's office was the product of an industrial weapons laboritory, not some "lone gunman" mad scientist. However much the FBI chants that to a gullible press corps.

4) David Kay was on today's Fox News Sunday speaking today of the breakdown of Iraq's internal order, via corruption, that was turning it into a "WMD market phenomina" where buyers and sellers were meeting. That exact thing is my leading theory for the fall 2001 anthrax mailing attack. What we are seeing of the Pakistani connection to Libya's nukes may already be just that.

5) It does not matter what you believe about the Israeli-Palestinian situation. What matters is the Palestinians won't settle for less than a total victory which involves genocide of the male Jews of Israel and Dhimminitude for the women and children survivors.

That you are chanting about a "reasonably honorable solution" doesn't adress the facts on the ground. It shows you are operating from religious conviction and not reality.

The Palestinians have chosen evil of their own free will. Deal with it or be damned for it.

I thought we were talking about a survival war here. I am trying to qualify this clash of civilizations as a survival war.

1. Yes, it sucks to be on the receiving end of a chemical attack. Barring the secret construction of a massive Islamic air force, exactly how are these chemicals going to be delivered to US cities in quantities that justify the term survival war? Ground-based delivery won't do much; the stuff dissippates too quickly. Ricin attacks don't qualify for survival warfare.

2. You don't actually believe that only religious nutcases are trying to get access to nuclear materials, do you? Criminal elements will want them, as will purely political movements. There are quite a few states who want them as well. In other words, eliminating the threat from Islam doesn't begin to cover the bad guys. That means your definition of bad guys has to expand, and it has to include words like "criminals".

3. When I say theoretical, I mean this in the scientific sense: Accepted theory is that they are very dangerous, and I agree. I do not mean this in the sense that the dangers are not real. The anthrax letters are a ludicrous point on which to suspend the notion of a necessary clash between cultures that could kill millions. I feel bad that a nut job with lab access (or maybe a rogue operative somewhere) got access to some of this stuff. He killed several people, none of whom were his intended target. Meanwhile, four thousand people that month died in car accidents. Hundreds were killed in criminal acts all across the country. The anthrax letters were clearly a failure, succeeding only to the extent they were referred to as a true threat.

4. Basic science is what it is, and Iraq is not the only rogue state in the world. There is a great deal of nuclear expertise all around the world. What, exactly, was being bought and sold? Knowledge is a slippery thing; there was nothing special about Iraq in that regard. I expect that similar knowledge sales have been occurring around the world. For all the characterization as a "marketplace", it must have been a marketplace without any physical presence. Weapons were not being manufactured in Iraq and sold around the world.

5. It's nice that you think all Palestinians think this way. Let's say they do...my reaction is, so what. They can't achieve the goal, and sooner or later, they'll simply give up. Fix the economic circumstances and you'll watch support dry up for the Islamists very quickly. I do not believe that an insane variant of any religion can take complete hold when communications are relatively free. I am a rationalist; I believe that ultimately human beings will select that which leads to gain. Palestinian leaders have controlled too much of the agenda, and have maximized their own gain at the expense of the population, who have been forcefed propaganda for far too long.

If, on the other hand, all Palestinians do not think this way, we must support those who counter the radical threat. There are limits to this, of course -- if we are supporting a vanishingly small segment of the population, there's no point.

Signs are that Arafat's means of control (financial) are coming apart. Into this gap will come other leaders; Palestinian society will fracture. This is a good thing. With any luck we'll see the emergence of a counter-Islamic segment of the population. The problem with the Islamists is that they're organized and armed. Like a drug gang in Rio, they can terrorize the population to get their way. Of course I view all of radical Islam pretty much the same way; Palestine is not the only population subject to this cancer.

As far as religious conviction goes, I have none. I believe simply in an unknowable God, which makes all this religious fighting and horror seem completely ridiculous.

Posted by Ross Ross on   |   § 1