perfidy

Okay, not in the literal sense. I got a case of loghorrhea you wouldn't believe. But honestly, words fail me.

"Most of the prisoners being held at Guantánamo Bay, the US military base on Cuba, are expected to be released or transferred to their own countries, the deputy commander of the unit that runs the base has said.

"Of the 550 that we have, I would say most of them, the majority of them, will either be released or transferred to their own countries," he told the FT.

"Most of these guys weren't fighting. They were running. Even if somebody has been found to be an enemy combatant, many of them will be released because they will be of low intelligence value and low threat status.

"We don't have a level of evidence to feel that we can be confident to prosecute them [all]. We have guys here who have never told us anything, except to say that they want to cut off the heads of the infidels if they get a chance," Gen Lucenti added.

And it took three years to figure this out? What I have trouble understanding is how after three years in the pen

Brig Gen Jay Hood, commander of the task force that runs the camps [can claim] "people here are of tremendous intelligence value", and the US still has much to learn from them.

Like what? Where Osama bin Laden used to live? How much an AK-47 cost in Syria three years ago? The names of four guys who either died or disappeared three years ago? I don't get it. The entire Git-mo enterprise stunk to me, and I'm disappointed, irritated, and outraged in that tired, I-expected-this-so-what-the-hell kind of way that it hasn't paid off like Bush & Co said it would.

In an effort to raise the level of discourse around here, I find myself reduced to bringing in outside help. Frequent Ministry reader Patton offers some thoughts on how the Dems and Reps are bending over backwards to court the retard vote this year. Bible banning, the draft, forgeries, and Halliburton Halliburton Halliburton out the wazoo (out your wazoo too!). Go read!

[wik] I'm probably too proud of my headlines today.

spotlight Ohio: Woman trades naked pix of young daughter for NFL tickets. (And a jersey. Don't forget the jersey!). Link goes to partial transcript of IM conversation. I especially love this part here:

Lustyliss429: how much can i trust u...
Buckin4God2: very
Lustylis429: are you sure
Buckin4God2: can you send it please
Buckin4God2: yes
Buckin4God2: can u send it
Lustylis429: ur not an undercover cop r u ... lol
Buckin4God2: no

Well, that settles that! It's on the internet... what's not to trust? On the other hand, the parts where mom says how cute her 4-year old daughter thinks Buckin4God2 is are sick and disgusting and if there's a hell anywhere she's gonna.... oh, right. She already lives in Toledo.

spotlight Baltimore: Last night during the Ravens - Saints game of American Football, the candid microphones captured Raven Ray Lewis-- who didn't kill two people, advising teammate Jamal Lewis-- who is about to plead guilty for conspiracy to traffic cocaine and some other skeezy drug stuff-- how best to deal with the pressure of being on trial for something horrible. The big difference is that Ray L. didn't kill two guys, and Jamal L. is a dirtbag who definitely did have a bunch of cocaine to sell. But whatever. This NFL-par behavior is not really the "exemplary human" part. The "exemplary human behavior" has been demonstrated by the NFL itself, who have seen fit to augment Lewis' expected jail time with a draconian punishment of its own-- a 2 to 4 game suspension. Is that the going price for a felony these days in football? Crime does pay!!!

It's not often that the oral arguments in the US Supreme Court rise to the level of noir fiction a la James M. Cain.

Clement starts to explain that in some cases this is terrifically complicated. He tries to hypothesize a messy fraud case, but Stevens cuts him off. "Keep it simple," he says. "There are usually not a host of enhancing factors—just the drug quantity and a gun." Clement tries to return to his fraud prosecution, but again Stevens stops him: "Use the example I've given you," he hisses. With the gun.

Terrific writing from Dahlia Lithwick.

Man mistakenly cuts off genitalia, dog eats it.

[wik] Alternate headline: "I confused it with the chicken's neck."

[alsø wik] I think my first album is going to be called "I Confused It With The Chicken Neck."

Donald Rumsfeld, 04Oct04: "I have not seen any strong, hard evidence that links [al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein].''

Donald Rumsfeld 04Oct04: " regrettably was misunderstood."

Really? Well... you didn't stutter.

But enough with the cheap shots. Our own Buckethead has adequately established that links existed between al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein, much like links exist between me and the head of the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority, whoever he or she is, whose trains carry me to work every day. But those links are neither systemic nor enduring, and it seems that even Rumsfeld finally has to pony up the troof.

But what of the rhetorical linkages between the two great Satans? Repeatedly in the debate last Thursday, President Bush said "Saddam Hu-- Osama bin Laden," as if the two men were, not only two peas in a pod but actually conceptually the exact same enemy of America. It's impossible to tell whether Bush actually believes that howler, but the mistake is casually revealing. For those of us who continue to believe that Iraq is a sideshow, a distraction to the "War on Terror" we're supposed to be up in, it's kinda horrifying. For those of us who want the President-- whoever he or she is-- to be capable, however haltingly, of articulating who we're dealing with and why, it's really horrifying. On Thursday, Bush did nothing to reassure me that he has any defense beyond the standard talking points for his actions. I went into the debate feeling fairly hostile to both jokers; I came out fed up completely with W.

If the CIA says one thing over and over, and the President's folks say another opposite thing, over and over, what time will the first train get to Altoona?

It's important not to let hate stop you from doing the right thing. At least I think that's the argument behind kerryhatersforkerry.com.

Are you going to vote for John Kerry even though you find him unpleasant, annoying, arrogant, waffling, misguided, or just generally unappealing in some profound way? Then you've come to the right place! We're Kerry Haters for Kerry -- perhaps his largest constituency! No need to hide in the Kerryhating closet anymore while you pretend to everyone that he'll be a great president. Here you are among friends. You can speak freely and honestly. You can admit: 'He's awful! And I'm for him!

Like the bumper sticker says-- "John Kerry: He'll Do."

Thanks to Loyal Reader #2.71828183, Mapgirl, for the tip.

Woefully benighted Californian Nathaniel thinks that my Red Sox fandom is weak sauce, and takes a dig at my heritage besides.

Johno, your Heimatsmannschaft is at home in Ohio, bombarded by campaign advertising as they stare at their navels. Your love for the Red Sox is just psychic transference: if you are going to embrace six decades of impotence, why not nine?

Well, Nat, I'll tell you what. I prefer to think of my Ohio roots as a terroir more than a Heimat. Terroir implies who I am is infused with and informed by Ohio and yet I also carry an identity that is my own besides. Your German-stylee homeland word is a little more freaky-sinister. To me at least, "Heimat" implies that I am the sum total of my Ohio roots, umbilically connected to the place. If that is true, how in the world do I still have all my teeth? I like the dandified French food connotations better, myself.

And as for your main assertion, that my Red Sox fandom is transference, I ask you: so fakin' what?!? Of course it's transference. The Red Sox legend is the (Cleveland Indians + Cleveland Browns / (Pittsburgh + Baltimore)) * New York^2, which equals, like, ten thousand or something. In fact, I would argue that sports pain accrues. If that's so, I'm really basking in at least 175 years of accumulated fan frustration, which means the last time my Platonically ideal team won anything, John Quincy Adams was President.

Mine may be an inane argument, but it knocks the hell out of your puny few decades.

So Nathanael thinks his puny Angels can take down the Red Sox in the ALCS.

Dream on, buddy. Your chosen squadron are deficient in multitudinous ways, whereas the squadron of my fealty are paragons of indominitable physical virtue. Prepare, sirrah, for a trouncing!

[wik] Nat also sez: "Who fears un planeta californiano?" Oh, please. California : imminent planetary dominance :: Polish people : good with lightbulbs.

It's apparently Poland-bashing day here at the Ministry. Oh, well. The Poles were so hurt at the fearsome snubbing given to them by John Kerry last Thursday that they're packing up and going home. Very slowly.

... actually, Poland has announced that by the end of next year they'll be out of Iraq, ending a three-year commitment. Well, ok. Three years is a plenty long time to occupy a country, and it's unreasonable to expect them to stay in there indefinitely. Besides, I hear that some of our other allies in the Great Coalition are clamoring for a turn: Moldova, Grenada, the Central African Republic, and Madagascar, come on down!